Discovering the world

Eduardo

Everyday has been a whole new experience, to see how our son is growing... to look at our world through his eyes and feel the excitement when the rain falls down, or the warmth of the sun on our faces.

Last week we were able to go to my grandparents' country house. It was a good time to be with Trisha and Luis Eduardo, resting, catching some sun and making some discoveries.

We were walking almost every day and on our walks it was great to see our son, reaching for every leaf, flower... anything that could be at his reach and be placed in his mouth. I thought of how many things we take for granted and we don't take time to enjoy them... like a good summer sunset.

Becoming a dad has been a great adventure filled with whole new experiences... Have you seen on TV, on one of those animal documentaries, that bears pee to mark their territory? Well, when we were at the country house we took Luis Eduardo for his first swim! I jumped in first in order to be ready to receive the baby... Trisha was getting him ready and then I was going to receive him. I came outside the pool to grab our baby and enter the pool... when I saw a shocked look on his face, and then almost instantly, I felt a warm stream running down my chest... I think Luis Eduardo knew the bear tradition and was marking his territory... and I learned a good lesson that day, never... ever grab a baby bear-chested with cold hands.

Right now, we are at the end strech of our process... we are 1 document away from "sentencia" and then we are comming back home. I am filled with mixed emotions as I have started to feel at home here in my country and city, but on the other hand realizing that my home is not here but in Canada. As I was telling Trisha, "As long as we are together (the 3 of us), we are a family ... a Colombian-Canadian, Spanish and English speaking family and we can make our home in Bogota or Vancouver". I feel so blessed to have married my best friend!

Trisha

My baby boy is asleep, this usually busy house is quieting for the night and as I sit here looking at this screen I once again have a passage on my mind that I can´t place even though the GT song is running through my head...but here are the words. ¨Peace, I leave with you, my peace I give you, I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your heart be troubled and do not be dismayed.¨ I am repeating these words to myself tonight at a time when my emotions are not as peaceful as I would like.

We are so close to the finish line on this process and after our documents have been reviewed and scrutinized countless times, and approved at every stage, one phrase in one letter was found to be unacceptable this morning, and once again we find ourselves waiting on FedEx to get the corrected document from Canada. This ´could´be a less than peaceful night. But you know what? I refuse! I refuse the increasing pace of my heart at this moment and the potential rise in my blood pressure that would be so natural to succumb to. I refuse to obsess over how and why this is happening at this stage. In fact, I choose to take the peace that is offered to me instead. I just read the post that my husband wrote and in those words I have regained some perspective.

Being a mom is teaching me so much already. My son is a living, breathing, wiggling, lecture on character and constantly brings me to ponder myself and why I do the things I do. For example, at this very moment, my precious baby boy is sleeping with very few cares, in fact likely none beyond whether or not he will be able to fit both his thumb and his Tigger into his mouth at the same time. Why is it that as we age and need less sleep each day, even that which we so desparately do need is threatened by so many cares?

I could go on with the myriad musings but likely that would be counterproductive tonight, so instead I think I will mediate on the peace that is promised me by my Jesus, cast my cares on Him because He truly does care for me, snuggle with my wonderful husband and stare at my sleeping child until my heavy eyelids close.

The Grand Tour

The last three weeks have been so full!! On top of just learning how to be a family of three we have had numerous appointments as I have outlined in other posts, but second only to the day we met our son was our visit to Los Pisingos on Monday afternoon. The appointment served a few purposes but one main reason for going was to be given the grand tour of the foundation. The day we met Luis, we were in one administrative office and then led up to the nursery where we received him and then back out. This time we were shown all of the different areas from the bedrooms of the older children, to the kitchens, to the playground. We returned to the nursery and all of the emotions flooded back as this time we were told which bed was Luis´ when he lived there. We also saw the rooms for older babies and toddlers and realized that he would have been moved into those areas within only a few weeks had we not been given the beautiful blessing of being his parents. We met several of his nannies who recognized him and were commenting on how much he has grown even in the last three weeks.
We were incredibly impressed as we walked around. There were a number of children playing both inside and out and it was so precious to watch the nannies interact with them. All in all, it is a beautiful place with photos lining the walls of the children who have lived there and gone on to find their forever families. One amazing photo that will stick with me for a long time was of a bride and her 2 bridesmaids. We were told that all three girls had been adopted from Los Pisingos as small children and are now sisters as a result. They have sent photos back over the years and this was the most recent.
It is said that a picture is worth a thousand words, and although I love words I find them falling short to express the emotions I felt. I don´t feel as though my heart has been broken but something even more powerful. I feel that it has been reformed. All that I was still exists but the newness and the change and the expansion is overwhelming! The first photo we ever saw of Luis pulled my heart and made me sure that everything we had been going through to get homestudy approved, and to track down and wade through the mountains of paperwork was all worth it...he is worth it and looking at that photo I knew I wanted to be his mommy more than anything. The photos we took on Monday make me sure that this whole process would be worth doing again as many times as God allows, because these children need mommies and daddies. It would be worth doing again because these children are receiving so much love right now and being cared for beautifully by people who would love nothing more than to tearfully say goodbye to them and watch for their photos in the mail, photos of birthdays, Christmases, graduations and weddings shared with grandmas and grandpas, brothers and sisters, mommies and daddies. It would be worth doing again because ´true religion that the Lord honors is to care for widows and orphans´, and I understand that more now than ever before.

Papers, papers and still more papers!!!

Isn´t it interesting how in the midst of any significant life event you can find something that just doesn´t seem to fit what you would have expected? Not that it is necessarily bad, just seeming out of place or comically ironic. I guess I should explain as somehow I feel that my mental and emotional sentiment didn´t quite come out straight in that first few sentences.
All my life I have dreamt of being a mommy. I played with dolls whose eyes opened and closed, I even remember wrapping a hot water bottle in a blanket with my doll once so that it would feel more ´real´. I babysat since I was 11 years old and probably from that point on began in earnest to research and file away in my mind little glimpses into parenthood that I observed all around me. From there a certain picture began to form in my mind of what it would be like to be a mom. Clearly there were portions of that image that were rather ´rose colored´but life is too short to be a total realist so I don´t regret that at all. But I do have to say that no where in my WILDEST dreams did I ever envision changing diapers on the way to the notary, or packing a bottle to take along while being fingerprinted, or pouring a bath for the baby while placing long distance phone calls asking for documents to be sent via FedEx.
It is such a weird feeling. During the homestudy part of this process we felt as though we were drowning in paperwork that seemed to come in waves. Then when we were matched to our beautiful boy, there were a few more forms to be filed before we could fly. Now that we are here it hasn´t stopped!!! But the end is in sight. Tomorrow we go for our integration meeting with the government social worker, which marks the end of our initial bonding period. Following this meeting, the social worker will prepare a document stating that the ministry of children and families here has no objection to our adoption. With that document plus the one more coming from Canada, plus the 3 that have to be stamped tomorrow and the 2 others that we are receiving on Wednesday, the lawyer will be able to file for a court date which will finalize the adoption permanently!! Whew.
But God is good and His timing is perfect. While we chase papers and often feel that things are taking so long, He is lining up the next step in time for our feet to take it. I am so glad that He is in charge. If it was up to me I would be in big trouble. So now that the long distance call has been placed, and the notary is closed until tomorrow I am going to go and enjoy the evening with my two boys. I am going to watch my husband make our son giggle and watch my baby melt my man´s heart and thank my Father for these amazing blessings that are beyond anything I every could have imagined ¨asked or thought¨ (Eph 3:20)

Between play time, bottles, diapers... all I want is a nap!

It has been a week since we have become a family of three. It has been a great time and we have seen God's hand througout this whole time, our baby has started to become more used to us and has started to bond with us.

Eduardo has become an expert in changing diapers, and Luis Eduardo thinks that this is the most wonderful time... you should see the giggles that our baby gets everytime that daddy says "It's diaper time!" Trisha has the "mommy touch", it doesn't matter how tired, hungry, bored our baby gets... she can soothe him in no time.

The other day, we had to leave the house and Luis Eduardo under the care of Bita (Eduardo's grandma) and the housekeeper as we had to go and do some errands at the notary. We left him napping and knew that we had about 1 hr, we went to the notary and came back home finding Bita sitting besides the crib and our baby sobbing. We look at him and it was the biggest smile, giggling and swinging his arms towards us... Bita said "looks he was missing you!!" This is an answer to prayer... he is bonding with us.

It has been an exhausting change for all of us, but a good one... I have never in my life been so exited for nap time... every 30min of sleep that we can get, is good.

The other day, I (Eduardo) went to get my criminal record check for Colombia and it was one of those days... I looked up the route through the Transmilenio "the bus system", got the appointment to appear and went on my way... Half an hour later... I got lost, found myself in the wrong station and the connecting bus was not existent. It was one of those movie moments... I lost the appointment, it started to rain, I got drenched and now I have a cold... the only thing missing is a sad, sad, song for a soundtrack.

When I came home, dripping... Trisha and Luis Eduardo welcomed me with a smooch and lots of smiles and giggles, it was worth it! And as I got dry, I thought about those naps that our son takes... he rests completely knowing that everything is ok, and everything will be fine because daddy is there. I think this is a lesson that I needed to be reminded of that in the midst of everything... we need to rest in Him and just take a nap!

Updates:

- We are still doing all the paperwork necessary for our integration meeting. This meeting may be delayed for one more week.

- Luis Eduardo is fighting a bit of a cold, please keep him in your prayers.

A Whole New Perspective

So it has now been 6 days since we became parents and it has been an absolutely amazing week. There were so many people who told me (Trisha) throughout this process that being a mom would change my whole life. Of course, you couldn´t be more accurate!!! There have been some obvious and notable changes - like our sleep patterns - that we expected and are definately feeling, but something else has happened that I guess I didn´t really know quite how to prepare myself for. I feel like my eyes have changed, my perspective and focus is completely different now. Some of that is practical, like being really really glad that I opted not to bother bringing long earrings, and some of it is much more profound. As I stare into the eyes of my precious little baby boy as he is eating, I feel like I more fully understand what it should look like to trust God for our provision. As I care for him I feel like I have a new take on the verse from Psalms that says we are ´fearfully and wonderfully made´. Our Creator is beyond a genius and when all the systems He designed are functioning as they should be it truly is something amazing. And yesterday, on his 6 month birthday, when my little boy rolled himself over from his back to his belly and a look of sheer glee crossed his face, followed by a look of confusion as suddenly everything he was looking at was different, I realized how much joy we adults can sometimes miss out on as we try to accomplish new things. We should never stop learning and never stop striving to be the best that we can be, because our Creator intends that for us, but along the way I hope I will keep learning from my baby to be more trusting of my Heavenly Father, to be more at peace in His design and to take moments to celebrate new things as they come.

I have definately had my life changed, and I couldn´t be happier, I would never choose uninterupted sleep for the smile that I get when I pick him up out of his crib. I would never choose complete independence for the feeling of him falling asleep in my Moby Wrap (which incidentally, is the single best baby purchase we made!!!), and I am so thankful to be seeing the world through new eyes!! Our Father´s world is truly wonderous!!!

Our First Photo Shoot

What a day!!!!!

Yesterday we flew to Bogota. After only about 2 hours of sleep we woke up around 3am and were hugely blessed when Lisa arrived at our door to drive us to the airport. We have had some less than smooth flights in the past and trips where basically all that could go wrong did, but yesterday was a brilliant exception. Both segments of the flight arrived to their destinations ahead of schedule. We had room for our carry-ons. We slept somewhat, and even the food was great!!

So around 9pm we arrived at Eduardo´s grandparents´home not knowing what time today would be our appointment and only knowing that we had to call in the morning. I finally felt relaxed knowing that we were here and that in a matter of hours and not days we would have our little boy in our arms.

Thank you to all of you who have been praying for us to get sleep because last night was amazing. We were likely tired enough from the night before and that helped, but we both slept so well and woke up refreshed and excited for today.

Our appointment was at 3pm and it was the most amazing experience. After going through our mountain of papers to make sure everything was in order, we were escorted upstairs to wash up, and put on hospital gowns and masks. After that, we were taken to the nursery and into a room of basinets that were all empty but one!! Our guide lifted Luis out of his bassinet, turned to us and said ¨Here is your son¨ I had no idea what I would feel and I had played through that moment a million times over the past months, but nothing could have prepared me for the huge rush of love I felt and the sensation that time had stopped. We had a couple of minutes with the guide and a friend who was filming and then they both left us on our own with our boy. We were finally able to take our masks off and kiss his beautiful face!!! The tears flowed freely as we took turns holding him and taking pictures and generally just staring and thanking God for this most beautiful gift. I think the moment I will cherish forever was the first time I held him because he smiled at me. Through all of this I had a level of fear that he would cry because I was a stranger but it was such a precious moment. So since then we{ve driven home - where he fell asleep in his carseat, had the first bottle and just generally spent the last 4 hours staring into his amazing eyes. There is a beautiful verse that I can´t find the reference to at this moment but it says ¨The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled to the top with joy¨ Nothing expresses this day better. We are so thankful to our Father who has given us the honor of being this precious baby´s parents.

So now we are looking forward to our web chat with Nana and Papa in an hour and then it will be the first bedtime. Be back soon, I think I´m going to take my turn to cuddle while Daddy puts a photo or two to pretty up this post.

Good night everyone from our new little family of 3!!!